If you’re like me, figuring out how to break bad habits is frustrating. We commit to a shift, our hearts filled with good intentions. Then, sometimes sooner rather than later, we fall back into the same habits. Which can be frustrating and defeating.
Recently I learned the really simple reason for that behavior – and we can change it! Here’s how.
Use Attention to Create & Break Bad Habits
Our habits are formed over time, thanks to the power of repetitive attention in our brain. As the attention repeats, our brain begins to hardwire it into what’s known as a habit loop. Over time habit loops become purely unconscious – for example, driving. How often do you get to your destination and not really remember all of the driving behaviors that got you there? That’s an unconscious habit loop. When you consider that over 95% of our behaviors and decisions are driven by our unconscious, these habit loops become very important in our lives and in our ability to change.
When we consciously choose to break bad habits – we can use the components of that habit to create triggers that allow us to shift the behavior.
Yet as I learned recently, it takes more than a commitment to change to shift our behavior. It takes repeated attention to the right habit.
The Power of Repeated Attention
Part of the challenge is internal conflict around our habits.
- We process new information in our right brain. That new information or behavior sticks in our right mind for 21-30 days.
- After that time has passed, we move that information or new habit loop into our left brain for long term storage and access.
- When we begin to replace a habit pattern with a new pattern, our right brain leads the shift. This is a new piece of behavior. The challenge begins when our left brain accesses our habitual memory and throws on the brakes. Even as our right brain is suggesting a new behavior, our left brain is shouting out the knowns of our habit, the safety in that habit.
The result? We are conflicted in our brains. In the presence of conflict or threat – status quo bias drives us to default to the known, or in this case, the habit.
How to Break Bad Habits
It’s actually simple. We consciously and repeatedly pay attention to the new habit. We focus on the new habits we want to use to break bad habits.
Experts have proven that it takes about 21 -30 days to change a habit, give or take. We have to consciously pay attention to the new choice long enough and for enough repetitions to replace the old habit stored in our left brain. We use our Attention!
The good news is that once we consciously change our attention to focus on new habits for ~30 day period, our habit loop and wiring changes. We break bad habits by replacing them with the new choice, and we successfully adapt.
The above was such freeing news for me. Now, instead of believing that I have to focus on the shift for months or years (or forever after), I know that by focusing and sticking to my commitment for 3 to 4 weeks, I will be successful.
The trick is to pay attention to your daydreams and the times when your mind wanders. That’s the time that your unconscious mind is at work. That’s when your attention has so much power to impact the 95% of our lives that the UM controls.
You can do anything for a month. Pay Attention!
